


Secret Lover

by edibleflowers



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:15:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28939827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edibleflowers/pseuds/edibleflowers
Summary: Tokiya needs help with the new choreography. Ren is the only person he can ask.
Relationships: Ichinose Tokiya/Jinguuji Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	Secret Lover

**Author's Note:**

> This is marked as underage only because I'm not sure what age the characters are as of the second season of the anime. However, I'm assuming they're both the same age (or near enough as to make no difference), and if they're not at the age of majority, I believe they're close enough to it that age should not be an issue. Still, if the idea of the two being sexual at this point in time bothers you, please do not read. Minor spoilers, I suppose, for "Maji Love 2000%".
> 
> I've been working on this fic on and off for close to a year. I honestly don't know why writing smut is so difficult sometimes, but I guess that's just how it goes. Please enjoy. Oh, and immense thanks to SnailedIt_0_V for reading it over for me and generally being lovely and encouraging!

Tokiya's text was short and cryptic: _Meet me by the lake after dinner._ Hours later, Ren was still stymied by it. While the two of them were close in the way that everyone in STARISH was, he didn't usually find Tokiya approaching him for advice or discussion on matters. Was Tokiya planning to finally confess to Haruka? (A bad idea, and one Ren sincerely hoped wouldn't happen. His own feelings for Haruka aside, they were still subject to Saotome's nonsense about not dating or falling in love while in the group. Any of them risked expulsion from the Master Class, or worse, should they allow their emotions to best them.)

Still, Ren considered Tokiya a friend if nothing else, and so, after the dinner hour was over and everyone had wandered off to their post-meal activities, he made his leisurely way down to the lake. He knew the spot Tokiya meant: there was a bench there where both of them liked to come and contemplate things when life allowed them some rare free time, and across the water one was afforded a spectacular view of the gazebo and the woods beyond.

Sure enough, as he approached the bench, set scenically beside a Japanese maple, he spotted Tokiya's familiar silhouette against the reddening sky. Tokiya hadn't spoken much at dinner, one hand occupied by whatever novel he was currently reading while he fed himself with the other; Ren had simply assumed him to be preoccupied.

"There you are," he said, as much to announce his presence as anything, as he came up beside Tokiya.

Tokiya glanced toward him briefly, nodded, then retrained his gaze on the lake. With his hands in his pockets, Tokiya _looked_ casual enough, and yet something about his stance was tense: his shoulders stiff, his neck straight as a rod. After a moment of silence, Tokiya let out a breath, turned to Ren.

"I apologize for calling you out here at this hour," Tokiya began. "I wanted to speak to you in private. I hope you don't mind."

Despite himself, Ren found an eyebrow going up. "Not at all," he replied. "But I must admit, I've been burning with curiosity since I got your text. Care to tell me what's on your mind?"

Tokiya's glance swung out to the lake again. He went quiet for just long enough that Ren was wondering if he should say something; finally: "I need your help," he said.

He had Ren's curiosity piqued now, but Ren was nothing if not patient. Folding his arms, he waited for Tokiya to continue.

"It's the new choreography," Tokiya said. "Not the steps," he hastened to clarify, "those are fine. But..." A deep breath, and this time Tokiya turned, at last, to face Ren head-on. "The. The--" His cheeks were actually going red now; smothering his amusement, Ren took pity on him.

"The suggestiveness is what you're having trouble with?" he replied.

Swallowing hard, Tokiya nodded. "It's not something I've done before. Not in STARISH, and most certainly not as HAYATO. It's much more... sexual," he finished, trailing off, arms folded around himself. That blush still stained his cheeks.

"I'm beginning to understand why you asked me for advice," Ren murmured. After all, that was his role in STARISH, and certainly the persona he enjoyed putting on for the world around him: the consummate ladies' man, always offering a lazy smile and wink, a gentle touch full of promise -- but no more, of course. Most assumed he had the experience to go with his devilish grins and the gleam in his eyes; truthfully, he found the character easy to inhabit, and had ever since he grew tall enough to attract the feminine gaze.

Privately, Ren wondered if anyone ever stopped to think of the fact that he, himself, was barely eighteen years old and had been insulated from the world by years of private education and a family business that made it impossible to take a step beyond its restrictive borders. He rather suspected not. 

"I need your help," Tokiya said finally, blunt, swinging to face Ren once more. "Please. Show me how you..." He trailed off, gesturing vaguely in the direction of Ren's hips. "How you do... that."

Ren couldn't help the laugh that burst out of him at that awkward phrasing. Tokiya's face darkened more, annoyance mixing with the embarrassment already apparent there. "Sorry," Ren managed, holding up a hand even as laughter continued to shake his shoulders. "Sorry, I'm not laughing at you. Truly. And I will help you." He had to, of course; he wanted them all to succeed, to give STARISH its best shot at winning the UtaPri Award. "It's just the way you phrased that, that's all."

Tokiya visibly swallowed, his hands easing from the fists they'd formed at his sides. He bobbed a brief, awkward bow to Ren. "Thank you," he said. "I'll do my best."

"Don't thank me yet," Ren replied.

* * *

They had time early the next morning, so Ren met Tokiya in one of the rehearsal rooms that wasn't scheduled for use. He wasn't surprised to find Tokiya there when he arrived; Tokiya had warmed up already, if the faint glow of sweat on his skin was any indication, and for a moment Ren stood in the doorway to watch Tokiya going through the choreography of the new song.

As he'd expected, Tokiya already had the basic moves down. He didn't require any help there: even without music playing, Tokiya moved to the beat as if a metronome was ticking out the time for him. The reason for his request was just as evident, though. During the first bars of the song, his spotlight moment called for him to roll his body while sliding a hand down over his chest: as Ren watched, Tokiya performed the move stiffly, unenthusiastically. In the next part, where Tokiya was to trade off lines with Hijirikawa, he was required to turn his back to the audience and swing his hips suggestively. Ren didn't need to see Tokiya's face to know he was blushing, while his hips barely moved from side to side.

Folding his arms and leaning in the doorway, he let out a low whistle. Tokiya nearly jumped; a sneaker-clad foot skidded on the wooden flooring before he turned to give Ren a resentful glare.

"Sorry," Ren said, smiling despite himself. He let the door swing closed, then turned to latch it so that no one would enter without permission. "I see you're hard at work already."

"Some of us need more practice than others," Tokiya muttered. He went to a nearby stool to take the bottle of water he'd left there, thumbing it open and drinking thirstily.

"I don't have to be here, you know," Ren commented. He shrugged off the light jacket he'd thrown on over his workout clothes (a sleeveless t-shirt and sweatpants), setting down his own water bottle on a chair by the door. "And for the record, I can always use the rehearsal time, too."

Tokiya made a sound as he closed his water and set it aside once more. "Sorry," he said, eyes carefully not meeting Ren's. "This isn't easy for me," he added after a moment.

Ren decided to sidestep that, only coming over to where Tokiya stood before the mirrors that covered one wall of the rehearsal room. "Let's take it from the top," he said. "I brought the demo, if you want the music on."

"Not just yet." Tokiya found his beginning pose again, and Ren took up his own a few paces behind him and to the side. Even without the others, they knew roughly where they needed to stand and move; finding specific marks wasn't quite as necessary here, nor was it the primary focus of the session. 

They ran through the choreography a couple of times at low energy, simply repeating the moves that were already imprinting themselves into muscle and bone. It was as good as any warm-up session, Ren thought; he'd have to jump in the shower before his recording session that afternoon, but that was hardly an issue.

Before Tokiya could begin a third repeat, though, Ren stepped up beside him. "All right," he said. "I think we should focus on the parts that are troubling you the most. No point putting it off any longer."

Tokiya's throat worked, but he nodded. His shoulders immediately went stiff, and Ren couldn't help a quiet chuckle, shaking his head. "And that response is exactly the problem."

"Wh-what do you mean?" Tokiya blinked, staring at himself in the mirror.

Smiling a little, Ren moved behind Tokiya and rested his hands on Tokiya's shoulders. The two of them were almost of a height, though Ren had a good few centimeters on Tokiya; his own frame was definitely broader.

"Relax," Ren murmured. "Breathe out. You were all loose and warmed up just a second ago, but the moment you started actively thinking about this, you tensed up. Breathe with me."

Tokiya's inhalation was sharp, his exhalation ragged. Ren shook his head again. "Slow," he urged. "Breathe in... slow... breathe out. That's better." He took a deep breath of his own in demonstration; after a moment, Tokiya imitated him, and they exhaled together steadily.

"Better," Ren said. Up close, Tokiya smelled of fresh sweat, sharp and salty; below that, Ren took in the simple scents of shampoo and soap, of the mint tea Tokiya had drunk with breakfast. _Focus,_ he told himself. "Let's try the first move now. It doesn't have to be overtly sexual, just a little suggestive. You don't have much time to draw attention to yourself, and you don't want to go overboard with it. Your line..."

"'I feel you'," Tokiya quoted. His face was going scarlet again.

Ren stepped to the side. "Shall I show you how I'd do it?" He kept his eyes on Tokiya's reflection; Tokiya nodded, his lips tight.

He'd thought of this last night, back in his room after they'd settled on a time to meet. Hijirikawa and Kurosaki-senpai were both elsewhere, so Ren had had a moment to review the choreography, to remember how Tokiya's part went here. It was a quick move, a body roll from the shoulders down while the free hand, flat-palmed, dragged from the center of the chest down to the waist. Ren performed it now, easy and brief, reciting the line; his eyes fixed on Tokiya's in the mirror as he did.

He straightened up again afterwards. "Like so," he said. "Now, you do it."

Tokiya inhaled, shoulders going stiff again. Predictably, there was no fluidity in his movement, and though it wasn't technically wrong, Ren knew it wasn't what was called for, either.

"Here," he said. "Do it along with me. One, two, three--"

Tokiya didn't have time to protest, but went into the move along with Ren. This time, it felt a little more natural, and Ren nodded. "Again," he said, and, "Again," and then, "One more time."

He was close: Ren could see it. Even so, Tokiya bit his lip in frustration as he repeated the move, and Ren wondered if they might need to try something else to break through this barrier -- something a bit more extreme.

"Stop," he said, before Tokiya went into it again. "Wait a moment." Before Tokiya could protest, Ren stepped up close behind him, resting his hands on Tokiya's shoulders. They weren't quite touching, but he could feel Tokiya's body heat all down his front, felt a predictable pulse of reaction at his groin. _Not right now_ , he told himself, even as he clasped Tokiya's right hand with his own and brought them both up to Tokiya's chest.

Tokiya inhaled sharply. "Ren--"

Ren wrapped his other arm around Tokiya's shoulders. "Try it like this," he murmured in Tokiya's ear, and nudged with his arm at the same time he dropped his own shoulders into the roll. Tokiya moved with him, though his eyes were shut tight now. At the same time, Ren ran their joined hands down along Tokiya's front. Tokiya's hips dipped in time with Ren's; a ragged breath escaped his mouth.

"Ren," Tokiya said again. This time his voice had gone lower, raspier, and Ren couldn't help a shiver at the sound of his name on Tokiya's tongue.

"You're trying to seduce our audience." Ren slowed his words to a drawl, his eyes still focused on Tokiya's face in the mirror. Though Tokiya kept his own eyes closed and his face was bright red, he hadn't pushed Ren away. "In a few words and a couple of moves, you're giving them a fantasy that will last long after they see us perform." 

He repeated the body roll, the glide of their hands. This time, Tokiya did it too, more relaxed, lazier than before. 

"You don't have to think of any of them," he went on. "Think of our lady, if that helps." No, that was no good; Tokiya was far too honorable to think of such indecent imagery associated with their beloved Haruka. He could feel Tokiya's back go rigid again. "All right, then. Think of me," he said.

That made Tokiya's eyes open, wide and startled, to meet Ren's in the mirror. _Now he's surprised?_ Ren couldn't help but smile. All this, and yet...

"We're only forbidden to be with women, after all," Ren went on. "You're telling me you've never thought of...?"

Tokiya yanked himself free from Ren's arms, finally, taking a step or two forward until he was almost at the balance bar mounted to the mirrored wall. "Never," he said on a harsh exhale.

 _Interesting_. Ren stayed where he was, letting his hands rest on his hips. "That's a shame. I've thought of it. Often."

Tokiya turned to look at him directly, then, rather than via the mirror. "You have?"

"Of course." Ren allowed a little shrug of his shoulders. "Is it a problem?"

He watched Tokiya's chest rise and fall before the man stood upright again. "No," Tokiya said at last. "No, it's not. Of course it's not. It only took me by surprise."

"Ah." Still, Tokiya was keeping a careful distance now, and Ren knew what that meant. He'd overplayed his hand. A shame, but that was life sometimes. He moved over to the chair where he'd set his water down and took the bottle, popping the cap off. "Well, at any rate, I believe we're almost out of time, so perhaps--"

Tokiya was there, suddenly, right up in Ren's personal space, having crossed the room in three long steps. He reached for the bottle; Ren didn't let go, and for a moment they both held it while Ren regarded Tokiya with new eyes.

"What if I'm not ready to be done yet?" Tokiya said. And kissed him.

Ren's surprise now had to equal Tokiya's of just moments ago; he stilled entirely, hand still grasping the water bottle and the other suspended in midair. Really, it was a miracle he hadn't let go of the bottle the moment Tokiya's lips met his. The kiss was awkward, to be sure: Tokiya pressed artlessly closer to him, mouth hot and urgent. Cautious, Ren brought his free hand to Tokiya's hip. Was this just for show, or to prove a point, or...?

Tokiya drew back, then, his entire face glowing scarlet. "I," he began. 

"You don't have to say anything," Ren said. 

"I wanted to do that." Tokiya's throat worked, swallowing with great effort. "I've wanted it for a long time now."

Ren couldn't prevent the lazy smile that spread across his own face. He tugged the water bottle free of Tokiya's hand at last, but only to flip the cap down again and set it on the chair once more. "So you lied to me before," he murmured.

"I--" Tokiya stuttered. Ren kissed him again.

This time, he indulged in it. Kissing was something he greatly enjoyed doing, an art he'd perfected to the best of his limited ability to practice. He brought his hand around to Tokiya's back, the other curving into the sweat-dampened hair at Tokiya's nape. Tokiya's breath stuttered in his throat; Ren shifted the kiss, finding a different angle. For now, he was careful to keep it gentle. The moment when Tokiya's head tilted up a little, when Tokiya pushed up into the kiss, made something shiver in Ren's chest. He felt Tokiya's hands restless on his back, as if he couldn't find a place to settle. That was good, too.

When Tokiya pulled back at last from the kiss, Ren barely managed to keep himself from chasing those lips. Even as new to this as he was, Tokiya had a charm to him, warmth and want in his demanding mouth. Already Tokiya's eyes were a shade darker, his lids low; the blush was fading a little, replaced with a different kind of heat. _Fuck_. Ren didn't want the moment to end.

"Why," Tokiya breathed out, blinking dazedly up at Ren. "Why did you--?"

As if in answer, an electronic beeping sounded out from across the studio. Tokiya's face darkened unhappily at the sound of his cell phone's alarm; with an unhappy sigh, he pulled away from Ren and stalked across the room to retrieve and silence it.

"That's why," Ren said, sighing himself. He had no immediate plans after this, but he knew that Tokiya did, which was why they'd had to schedule the session so early. "Will you be able to make your thing?"

"Of course." Turning off the alarm, Tokiya shoved his phone into a pocket, looking decidedly disgruntled. Ren couldn't even laugh about it; he felt much the same way. "But I'd better go now so I can get a shower in before I have to leave."

Nodding, Ren reached for his own things. "I'll see you later, then." In truth, he felt a little disoriented. One moment, Tokiya had been right there, in his arms, kissing him with a feverish need; the next, the real world had intruded, as it always seemed to do.

"I -- yes," Tokiya said. There were more words there, but Ren saw the way he bit down on them, picking up the water he'd brought and his jacket, making sure he had everything before heading to the door. His gait was a trifle stiff, but Ren carefully avoided looking down as Tokiya passed him. He had no doubt both of them were suffering from the same problem in that regard.

"Icchi," he said. At the door, Tokiya paused, looking back at him. Ren bit his lip, then gave him a brief smile, a more honest one this time. "Find me later?"

Tokiya's nod was quick, a jerk of his chin. But he smiled, too, before the door closed behind him. Swallowing hard, Ren turned to finish collecting his own things. A nice, hot shower was in his immediate future. Or perhaps a very cold one.

* * *

The rest of the day was busy, as he'd known it would be. Ren didn't mind. Even on ordinary days, he preferred having a lot of work into which he could throw himself; being an up-and-coming idol meant photo sessions, interviews, radio and television appearances, recording and more. He'd been scheduled to model for the Japan Boys Collection as promotion for the Jinguji Conglomerate, which meant meetings to go over clothing and measurements, plus more photos for the pamphlets and catalogs and advertisements that would accompany the fashion show. In between all of that, all six of them were expected to have a hand in mentoring the recently-arrived Cecil Aijima. 

Busy was better than not, though. Except when Ren desperately wanted some alone time with a certain Tokiya Ichinose.

The worst part was he couldn't even slip away to meet Tokiya at night for some illicit tryst. Ren still shared a dormitory room with Masato Hijirikawa as well as their assigned senior, Ranmaru Kurosaki, while Tokiya continued to room with Otoya Ittoki and their senior, Reiji Kotobuki. Then there was the fact that Shining seemed to have eyes everywhere; he tended to pop up at the most disconcerting times and places. A private moment might actually be more possible during the day, if the two of them could find some time in which one or the other's roommates were elsewhere -- better still, if they were off the Saotome campus altogether.

He barely had a chance to pull up the next day's schedule on his phone before Kurosaki-senpai was turning the overhead lights off, but as he turned the phone off and set it aside, his mind had already begun to whirl with plans.

* * *

Ren's first chance came the following afternoon. He and Tokiya, along with Otoya, were scheduled to appear for a brief television interview regarding their work with the members of Quartet Night. Afterwards, they'd been given an hour to themselves before they were expected to meet back at the academy for rehearsals.

Otoya headed out immediately after the interview for a meeting of his own, which suited Ren perfectly. In the makeup room, as they removed what was applied for the television cameras, Tokiya glanced over at Ren: mirrors again, but no privacy this time, with makeup techs patiently wiping their faces clean.

"Do you want to get something to eat before we have to head back?" Tokiya asked.

Ren grinned. "That sounds ideal."

They made it halfway down the hall before Ren pushed open a closet door and tugged Tokiya inside. He'd planned the move when they came into the studio and he saw the maintenance closet, tried the door and found it unlocked. Inside, he flipped the light on and then leaned back against the door to close it; his questing fingers found a latch to turn on the knob itself, ensuring the door would stay shut.

"What are you--" Tokiya's words cut off as his eyes rose to meet Ren's.

"We don't have much time," Ren said, reaching out to curl his fingers in the lapel of Tokiya's blazer. "Do you want to spend it talking?"

Tokiya came to him in one step, breath harsh against Ren's mouth. He paused only to exhale one forceful word: " _No_." Then they were kissing again, Tokiya eager, pushing himself up hard to Ren.

His hands came to Ren's hair and pushed in, burying in the thick fall of strawberry-gold locks. Ren knew he would be wrecked from this. He'd never cared less about his appearance than in that moment. He breathed in everything about Tokiya, his rough, hungry kisses and the grasping hands that didn't seem to know where to touch.

In truth, Ren knew they didn't have long; they really _would_ need to get food, as they had a lengthy rehearsal session ahead of them. Besides, making out like this for more than a few minutes would lead to situations he wasn't sure Tokiya was prepared for -- hell, he wasn't sure _he_ was prepared for that. But they could steal this moment from the rest of the world, at least.

Tokiya now was nothing like the shy, blushing Tokiya of yesterday. Heated and alive, Tokiya drove his tongue into Ren's mouth with no restraint whatsoever; Ren moaned, helpless to do anything but kiss Tokiya back. His pulse sped, raced, blood hot in his veins. His hands spread over Tokiya's back to pull him closer until there wasn't even a breath of space between them: Tokiya's hips bumped against Ren's, revealing something else. Both of them were responding to this heated kissing.

Ren's hands itched to slide down to Tokiya's ass, to grind into that hardening stiffness he felt that matched his own. Such a terrible idea, but _God_ , he didn't want to stop. Tokiya pulled back from him only to change the angle and kiss him again; that tongue in his mouth explored deep, reckless with need.

All at once, Ren's phone beeped. Tokiya leapt back like he'd been shocked. Groaning, Ren tipped his head back against the door and fished the phone from his pocket. Sure enough: he'd set it for fifteen minutes, and they'd already hit that mark somehow.

"We can't stay in here," he said with a heavy sigh. "They'll suspect something if we don't get back to Saotome in time."

Tokiya nodded hastily, gulping; he was already fixing his tie, which had started to come loose somehow, and tidying his shirt front. Ren ran his hands helplessly over his hair, then reached into his pocket for a hair tie to pull it all back.

"I don't want to stop," Tokiya said suddenly. His voice was soft, but his eyes, flickering up to meet Ren's briefly, were dark with want.

"Neither do I." Ren sucked in a breath. The air felt heavy in here somehow, as if the scent of their arousal had filled the tiny room. "Come on," he said, and unlocked the door.

His cheeks still flushed, Tokiya darted from the closet. Ren followed him at a slower pace.

This was madness. He'd badly miscalculated things. They couldn't continue this; it would only lead to more, and more would be trouble.

That didn't seem to make him want it any less.

* * *

_Want to get more practice in_ , Tokiya texted him the next morning. 

Ren nearly dropped the phone when he saw it. He'd been waking up slowly, had reached over for the phone to pre-emptively turn off the alarm before it woke either of his roommates -- and then snapped wide awake upon reading the text that came up when he tilted the phone up.

For a moment, he flashed back to the previous day's encounter, those frantic moments hidden away in a closet at the television studio. Surely that wasn't the kind of practice he meant...

Blinking to clear his eyes, Ren tapped out a quick text response: _If you mean actually rehearsing, I have time after breakfast. Same studio?_

Tokya's text came back quickly, as if he'd been waiting for Ren's reply. _Same studio. See you there._

Ren half-expected Tokiya to pounce the moment he walked in the door, but no: like the last time, Tokiya was in workout clothes before the mirror, music already playing from his phone. Today he wore loose basketball shorts over black tights, a tank top, sweatbands on his wrists. Ren thought he'd do well on the court, rather than in a dance studio.

"Sorry I'm late," he said, closing the door behind him and setting his things down on a chair.

Tokiya caught Ren's eye in the mirror, shook his head. "I just got here." Ren managed a smile in return and tugged his jacket off, adding it to the phone and water bottle before crossing the room to stand by Tokiya before the mirror.

Apparently Tokiya was determined to have himself completely up to speed before their next group dance rehearsal tomorrow. As they started in on the routine, counting beats rather than bothering with music for the moment, Ren eyed Tokiya's form in the mirror. He could picture the shape of Tokiya's hips under his hands now, knew just how lithe that body was against his own-- Ren swallowed hard and forced himself to detach, to focus on the dance and not the things he wanted to do to the dancer.

"Better," he nodded after the first runthrough, stopping once they'd gotten past the chorus. He already knew Tokiya was fine with the rest of the song, after all. "You're looser than you were before. It shows."

Tokiya's eyes found his in the mirror, even as he wiped an arm across his forehead to clean it of sweat. "Good," was all he said.

Rarely did Ren find himself rattled. Somehow, this time, his flirtation had been turned back on him. Worse, he didn't know how to respond to Tokiya's gaze, level and yet flickering with desire at once. "Well, then, whatever you're doing," he managed at last, "I can only advise you to keep it up."

The words slipped out before he realized what he'd said. Despite himself, he began to smile. _Keep it up indeed. Wouldn't I like to_. To his surprise, one corner of Tokiya's mouth deepened into shadow, matching Ren's expression.

"Then we'd better get back to it," Tokiya said, and settled into his opening stance once more. This time, Ren shamelessly ogled Tokiya's rear in the loose basketball shorts before he began to count down the beat.

* * *

Rehearsal the next day was pure torture. When Ren focused on his own parts, it wasn't so bad, but then he stood back to watch Tokiya dance -- and had to avert his eyes the moment Tokiya did a lazy hip thrust. Their rehearsals had paid off (not to mention their makeout sessions): Tokiya seemed to have gotten over every inhibition holding him back from performing the choreography as desired.

"He's doing much better," Hijirikawa commented, pressing a towel to his neck.

Ren only nodded in response. His throat worked as Tokiya swung around, his back to the mirror, and rolled his hips from side to side.

Hijirikawa made a curious sound. Ren carefully didn't look at him. His roommate was far too perceptive. Fortunately for him, a moment later the choreographer clapped his hands and summoned Hijirikawa over, and Ren let out a breath of relief. He was sure the interrogation had only been delayed, but he was glad for the reprieve anyway.

Dismissed for the moment, Tokiya came to lean against the wall next to him. Ren managed the barest glance toward him as he sipped at his water, then refocused his gaze on Hijirikawa, at the front of the studio. If he looked at Tokiya, he'd start to think about kissing him in the closet the other day, about how smooth and warm Tokiya's lips were on his, how rumpled they'd both been after--

He inhaled sharply. Beside him, Tokiya gave a low, quiet chuckle. Ren allowed himself a smile, though he kept his eyes facing forward.

"You've improved," he said, in as normal a voice as he could manage. "Significantly."

"Thanks to your help," Tokiya murmured, and all Ren could think was: _I've created a monster_.

* * *

After that, it seemed Ren could hardly turn around without finding Tokiya nearby. It wasn't all the time, of course: their moments were rarer than he would have liked, but after the second time a hand snaked out of a quiet alcove and tugged him in, or urged him behind a screen for a stolen kiss, Ren knew for sure that Tokiya wanted this just as much as he did.

There was no way it could continue. How could it? They'd be found out, surely, any moment. Even as Ren drove his tongue into Tokiya's mouth to mute the groan coming from it, Ren's skin prickled with the fear -- and thrill -- of potential discovery.

"It's ridiculous, you know," he found himself muttering between hot kisses one evening. They'd gone for a walk along the path to the gazebo, ostensibly to discuss some upcoming scheduled events -- at least, until Ren had turned and stepped into the trees, a hand catching Tokiya's wrist to tug him along. In the darkness of the leafy shadows, he could barely see Tokiya except for a glimmer of light reflecting from his eyes.

"What is?" Tokiya's eyebrows lowered, even as he pushed himself up against Ren. Bold hands slid under the hemline of Ren's shirt, familiar now as they found the heat trapped between the shirt and Ren's skin. "What we're doing?"

"That we have to hide." Ren bit at Tokiya's lip, sucked it between his teeth. "From the public, sure. From _everyone_..."

"By which you mean Saotome." Tokiya swallowed hard even as he tipped up to get more of Ren's mouth on his. 

Though Ren liked to think he wouldn't care if the others in STARISH and Quartet Night knew what he and Tokiya got up to in their limited private time, he wasn't sure he was ready for them to find out any more than he wanted the president of Shining Agency to know. "For the most part," he murmured into Tokiya's mouth. One hand slid down, low, grasping at Tokiya's ass; Tokiya made a needy sound and pressed closer still.

He felt hardness between them now, a heated line in Tokiya's jeans against his thigh. Though he'd been trying to ignore it, Ren felt the surge of want pushing through his veins, his pants suddenly and almost painfully constricting against his own rising erection. This was a bad place: they could be seen by anyone at a moment's notice, and yet Ren had never been so tempted to simply sink to his knees and push Tokiya up against the tree trunk, to peel off those clothes and see Tokiya bared to him, pale skin stark in the moonlight.

"My room," he said instead, pulling back from Tokiya. Cool air swirled between them and Tokiya's glittering blue gaze rose to meet his. "Tomorrow night. I'll make sure we're alone."

"How?" Tokiya blinked up at him.

"I'll figure it out." Ren's throat worked. Tokiya's lips were dark, bruised from those hungry kisses they'd shared; Ren wanted to sink into Tokiya again and never stop. He took another step back. "I'll figure it out," he said again, voice low and shaking, and had to fight with himself to keep from running back towards the dormitory.

* * *

It had been a bit of a dramatic turn, true, but Ren knew that Hijirikawa would be out of town the following night for a travel documentary he was filming. Arranging for Kurosaki-senpai to be elsewhere was tricker; Ren had to make a few phone calls before he finally learned of a rock concert in Osaka that Kurosaki had been talking of wanting to see. The band was only playing a few special shows in Japan, so Ren contacted his brother to see about getting tickets for Kurosaki. He knew Kurosaki would be a little suspicious of it, so he addressed the envelope from Saotome Agency as a gift for some recent promotional work. 

If Kurosaki suspected anything, he didn't say it; he swept up the tickets with a shout of happiness, grabbing his phone to make arrangements for the trip immediately. Within an hour he'd swept out of the room, pumping his fist in the air as he headed for the car that would take him to the airport.

Suddenly the room was still, the swirl of air in Kurosaki's wake settling against Ren's skin. He swallowed and looked around, trying to assess the place through another's eyes. Kurosaki's side was messy, but that wasn't a concern, since the senior would get upset if anything had been moved in his absence. Naturally, Hijirikawa had left his own part of the room spotless, and Ren wasn't a slob by nature; even so, he moved towards his bed, which had already been neatly made, to smooth down the few wrinkles there.

He'd made a trip off-campus earlier that morning to procure certain supplies: the bag was now tucked away in the bottom of a bureau drawer, underneath his least-used pants. Should either of his roommates be so gauche as to inspect Ren's clothing in the first place, they'd still be unlikely to come across his purchases. He hoped, anyway. Well, Hijirikawa would never borrow any of his clothes, with or without permission; Kurosaki had his own sense of style and fashion, so he doubted...

A knock on the door tore Ren from his thoughts, and with a relieved sigh, he got up from his bed to answer it. He hadn't expected anyone else, but all the same he was glad to see Tokiya, a bag slung over his shoulder, on the other side of the door. Tokiya's face was curiously blank.

"Come in," Ren said, and Tokiya did, moving past him and into the room with a hasty step. Closing the door again, Ren made a point of turning the lock; it might not keep out Hijirikawa or Kurosaki, but any other casual visitors would be deterred. (Shining Saotome couldn't be kept out of anywhere, Ren knew; if the agency's president decided to visit them, they'd be screwed no matter what, so he'd already determined not to worry about that.)

"Do you know, I don't think I've ever been in your room." Tokiya glanced around, one hand flexing on the strap of the bag on his shoulder. "Or even seen it since Kurosaki-senpai moved in, for that matter."

His behavior only surprised Ren for a moment; then realization sank in. Tokiya was nervous. He rarely let his nerves show; when they worked on choreography, his face was often set in stone until the steps came naturally to him. A poker face was important for someone who worked in the public eye, as they did, and often allowed fans to interpret it as remote coolness. Now that he could read the signs, though, Ren knew he'd never see Tokiya's veiled expressions any other way. He stepped forward, reaching for the strap of Tokiya's bag.

"It's nice to see you, too," he said. Tokiya's face lifted, eyebrows rising; Ren took the opportunity to lean in for a kiss.

Tokiya made a little surprised sound, but he didn't pull back from it. He didn't let go of the bag, either, which made it easy for Ren to draw him closer. Tokiya's mouth opened against his, and the simple sound of it, the wet slide, made Ren inhale sharply. A sudden wave of /want/ hit him all at once, nearly buckling his knees.

His other hand slipped around Tokiya's waist; he took a step back, then another, never breaking the kiss as he drew them back towards his bed. The bag slipped from Tokiya's shoulder at last, a moment before Tokiya stopped abruptly. _The bed_ , Ren realized: Tokiya had caught up against it. An image popped unsummoned into his brain: himself over Tokiya, both of them naked, kissing-- Ren sucked in a breath and pulled back from the kiss, letting his forehead rest against Tokiya's.

"Let's sit down," he murmured. 

Tokiya did, settling gracefully on the mattress. He'd left his shoes on, and as he began to push his feet out of them now, Ren's heart gave a single, painful thump in his chest. The sight of Tokiya's head bowed before him inspired more lewd images in his brain, one in particular that had led to this very evening.

Almost involuntarily, his hand rose, rested on the crown of Tokiya's head. The dark hair was soft and thick under his palm. Tokiya made a confused sound and looked up, shoes set to the side.

"Can I--" Ren started, stopped again. His throat worked briefly.

"You can do anything you want," Tokiya said.

Ren sank to his knees in a simple, fluid movement. From here, he had to lean up to kiss Tokiya; as he did, his fingers came to the buttons of Tokiya's shirt and began to work them open.

"Ren--" Tokiya's voice stuttered between kisses. Ren's trembling fingers somehow made short work of the shirt's buttons, tugged the tails out of the slacks into which they were tucked.

"Let me suck you off," he breathed, his hand curving over the heated line he could now feel in Tokiya's slacks.

Tokiya's mouth opened and closed, no sound coming out for a painful moment. Then he swallowed and nodded, and Ren undid the slacks and slid his hand in. 

That first contact: the sleek heat of Tokiya, smooth in his curled fingers. Ren allowed himself a moment to admire Tokiya's cock, its length and fullness, before he bent his head forward and took the head into his mouth.

Tokiya made a startled sound. Ren's eyes flew up to meet Tokiya's, though he didn't let the head slip free; he needed this too much to let go of Tokiya so soon. Tokiya's chest heaved for a moment, one hand behind him to keep him upright. Ren reached for Tokiya's other hand, drawing it to his hair. 

Ren had to take a moment to savor this. It was Tokiya's first time -- his eyes gone wide and astonished, little overwhelmed sounds slipping from him. Drawing in a breath through his nose, Ren closed his eyes and let his mouth slide deeper over Tokiya, trying to take in more, to get all he could. It felt startlingly good, the crown riding against the roof of his mouth. Ren slid his tongue everywhere he could reach, tasting, learning the feel of Tokiya on his lips, on his tongue. 

He made a frustrated sound when the head bumped at the back of his mouth and he felt himself start to gag, had to pull back. _More_ was all he could think, and it wasn't enough. The taste was odd, salt and something bitter, a hint of soap -- had Tokiya showered just before he came over? _Came_ over. _Ha_.

Still, Tokiya was making those lovely little strangled noises, and Ren could feel the hand twitching restlessly in his hair, so he didn't let up. Had no desire to, really. Every sensation was fascinating and new: he slid his mouth down again, again, lips forming tight around the shaft; Tokiya groaned gratifyingly in response. Ren let one hand drift up to touch Tokiya's taut belly, flat and smooth and only lightly dusted with hair, while the other hand curled around the base of that lovely cock.

He started moving that other hand in time with the motion of his mouth. Tokiya keened suddenly: it took a moment for the sound to filter to Ren's brain, another to translate the sound to his name.

"Ren," Tokiya panted. "I'm c-close, I'm going to--"

As desperately as he wanted to feel Tokiya coming in his mouth, Ren pulled back. He wasn't ready for that, and he didn't feel like trying to seem cool in the moment, didn't want to risk it not being good for Tokiya. Besides, he wanted to see Tokiya's face -- and oh, it was so worth it to look up and take in the glorious sight of Tokiya, head flung back, a flush painting his neck and upper chest dark red.

Tokiya's nipples stood stiff against his skin. Fascinated, Ren stretched his free hand up to caress one. Tokiya's whole body shuddered at that simple touch. Ren's other hand moved on Tokiya's cock three times, four, and Tokiya went stiff and came. Semen looped on his belly, streaked over Ren's hand and even dotted his chin.

In the aftermath, Tokiya's face relaxed, his body going limp and heavy. He hadn't made a sound in the moment, but he panted now, sucking in huge breaths with every inhalation. At last, the hand behind him gave out and he collapsed back to the bed.

Ren wiped his chin thoughtfully. There was something oddly hot about Tokiya being partially naked and sprawled on his bed while he himself was still fully clothed; also, with the urgency of pleasing Tokiya past him, he was aware of his own intense arousal, his cock almost painfully hard in his briefs. 

"OK there, Icchi?" he murmured.

Tokiya's hand fluttered up for a moment, then fell to the mattress again. With a laugh, Ren stood, tugging off the polo shirt he wore and tossing it aside. He unbuckled his belt, slid his own trousers off and stepped out of them. Straightening again, he saw that Tokiya's head had lifted up to watch. 

Ren couldn't help the smile that slowly spread across his face as he put a knee on the bed and then let himself drop down to the mattress. Tokiya's arm curled around his shoulders, drawing him closer; Ren swallowed before they kissed, momentarily overwhelmed at the easy warmth of this.

"You're relaxed," he murmured into Tokiya's mouth.

"After that? Who wouldn't be?" Tokiya let his hand trail down over Ren's chest, lazy but not without purpose. The trail of heat made Ren shiver, especially when those curious fingers brushed over a nipple. It stiffened at once: Ren let out a hiss at the unexpected sensation.

"Can I--" Tokiya's voice had gone low now, a rawness in it Ren had never heard before. Somehow, inanely, he thought back to the stiff-shouldered, straight-backed, easily-embarrassed Tokiya who had asked him for help with a few mildly suggestive dance moves. This was a whole new person in his bed.

"Yes," Ren said, and surged up for a kiss. " _Yes_."

Without further preamble, Tokiya's fingers slid under the waistband of Ren's briefs, finding Ren's cock at once. He'd been so hard that the fabric was distorted; now, Tokiya's hand further strained the fabric, dragged the waistband down to show the head, flushed and damp with pre-come.

"Let me--" Ren arched his hips up enough to shove the briefs down, exposing Tokiya's fist as well as his own erection. He didn't bother pushing the underwear down any further, didn't need to: this was enough. Tokiya took the opportunity to slide his hand faster now, more easily without anything to restrain him; Ren couldn't help the sharp moan at the sudden, intense increase in sensation.

How could it feel so different with someone else touching him? Tokiya's hand wasn't so unlike his own: the same warm skin, the same grasp on him (if at a slightly different angle), and yet Ren clutched at Tokiya, pushing helplessly into that hungry grip. "Please," he heard himself saying. "Please--"

Tokiya shifted more toward him, that other hand gripping his shoulder; Ren panted into Tokiya's neck, lost in the power of that hand shifting easily on him. He felt more than saw Tokiya's smile, didn't even care.

"Wanna see you," Tokiya breathed, his voice fluttering. Without conscious thought, Ren came hard into Tokiya's hand. Ren dropped his head back and panted as aftershocks of sensation worked through him. 

There weren't words, at least for a little while after. Ren understood Tokiya's inability to do more than breathe immediately after his orgasm now, as his brain felt scattered to the four winds; only Tokiya's arm around him kept him grounded to reality at all.

He felt gentle lips pressing kisses to his forehead, his hair; heaving in a breath, Ren opened his eyes and tilted his face up for more. This time, the warm kiss was soothing rather than exciting. Tokiya smiled down at him with the world-weary experience of someone who'd just been through exactly the same thing, rather than a young man who'd just had his first orgasm at another's hands.

"I'll get up in a second," he said, "get us cleaned up."

"In a second," Ren said agreeably before tugging Tokiya down for another kiss. His hand was a little sticky, and he felt his own semen liberally dotting his own belly, cooling there. Still, that could wait a little while longer. They had the room to themselves for the whole night, after all.

Unsurprisingly, Tokiya was the one who pulled back first, reaching behind himself for the box of tissues on Ren's nightstand. Fastidious as ever, Ren thought, as Tokiya cleaned both of them up. While he took care of the tissues, Ren finished sliding his briefs off and kicked them away; then, as Tokiya rolled back toward him, he tucked a thumb into the waistband of Tokiya's slacks, loose and open, cock still hanging out of his underwear.

"I want to see all of you," he murmured.

A visible shudder went through Tokiya at that, but he didn't protest, only raised his hips to let Ren finish stripping him down. They'd been naked in each other's presence before, showering after a live show or some other event that had required them to be physically active; at the time, though, Ren hadn't let himself look. Greedy now, he took in the lanky, lean stretch of Tokiya beside him, toned and pale, chest fluttering with rapid breaths.

"You're beautiful," he said without thinking. Tokiya flushed anew, red staining his face and creeping down his neck. The reaction delighted Ren for reasons he couldn't name, and he kissed Tokiya again, again, one kiss bleeding into another until he'd lost track of how many kisses they'd shared.

It was Tokiya's hand on his ass that distracted him. The hand had wandered over his back, tracing sweet paths of sensation, but then it swept lower to curl over one cheek. Ren made a surprised sound into Tokiya's mouth, then: "Don't stop," he commanded, when Tokiya's hand froze.

"What do you want, Icchi?" he breathed against those warm lips. "You don't have to stop touching me, that's good--"

Tokiya's breath stuttered for a moment. When he managed to speak again, it was in a distinctly hoarse tone. "I don't even know. Everything. You--"

Ren couldn't stop a laugh, suddenly, at the inadequate phrasing Tokiya was attempting to use. It had never occurred to him that this would be a stumbling block: that they had no language for this. "No," he breathed out, even as Tokiya's frame tensed against him. "I'm not laughing at you, I promise. It just hit me that we. We never exactly got a proper sex education, did we."

Tokiya's mouth opened, then closed again. He let out a breathless laugh, tipping his head to Ren's shoulder. "God. You're right. All I've ever figured out of this was from watching -- ahh..."

"Pornography," Ren helpfully supplied. Tokiya dissolved into laughter, shaking against him. Ren's shoulders shook too as he gathered Tokiya closer to him again. "It's true!" he protested, at least partly to keep Tokiya laughing. "It's not as if anyone has explained any of this to us."

Still fizzing with laughter, Tokiya lifted his head. "We did get the basics, at least. The -- the birds and the bees." 

Ren snickered, remembering the mandatory health classes they'd attended in their first year -- excruciatingly embarrassing for all involved, and confusing as well: if they were meant to forego romance as idols, why should they even learn about sexual relations? The information wasn't even particularly useful to them now, as men sleeping together, but even then it had been couched in careful euphemisms and clinical wording as if deliberately designed to be useless in general.

"I want a lot of things," he said, softer, as Tokiya's laughter died down into softer giggles. "I know you do, too. We just need to figure out how to say them."

"In a way that doesn't sound like dialogue from a porn film." Tokiya's breath huffed out against his throat. Ren shivered, involuntary.

"I don't know. Dirty talk has something going for it, after all."

Tokiya's cheeks went bright red all at once; Ren's eyes widened.

"What?" Ren slid a hand into Tokiya's hair. "What is it?"

The lovely pale stretch of throat worked once or twice before Tokiya managed to find his voice again. "Like asking if I can suck your cock?"

 _Holy shit_. A flash of lust smashed into Ren's brain, rendering him momentarily senseless. Those words, spoken in Tokiya's rich voice... He pulled Tokiya's mouth to his again, kissing him hard, their mouths clashing against each other. " _Fuck_ ," he muttered. He could feel the heat of Tokiya's face, burning, but Tokiya didn't pull back from him. "Fuck, yes, I want that. I want you to suck me with that pretty mouth of yours."

They'd gotten more comfortable on the bed after cleaning up, but now Tokiya pushed himself up from it again. Even as he knelt to the floor, he reached for Ren's hands, tugging him to the side of the bed -- Ren was the one swallowing hard now, seeing Tokiya pliant as a supplicant before him.

"Beautiful," he breathed out again, and cupped a hand over the unruly mess of Tokiya's dark hair. Tokiya went redder, if such a thing was possible. Even the tips of his ears showed it now.

He only reached for Ren's thighs, though, urged him closer. Heart pounding hard, Ren spread his knees around the span of Tokiya's shoulders, watched without breathing as Tokiya leaned in and took him in his mouth.

Ren had been soft up until that point -- but now, wrapped in sudden velvet heat, he felt himself stiffening almost at once. A raw sound stuttered out of him and he stuffed a couple of knuckles into his own mouth. Tokiya's gaze traveled up, then, dark blue below the thick fringe of his lashes. He _had_ to know what a pretty picture he was like this, Ren thought in some dismay. There was no way he couldn't be aware of it.

"Let me hear you," Tokiya mumbled, pulling back long enough to speak. Ren let his hand drop to the bed to support himself instead. 

It might have been a clumsy first attempt, but Ren had no basis for comparison and didn't care anyway. Tokiya took him in eagerly, only drawing back as Ren's cock rose hard and thick in his mouth. He was making hungry sounds too, little mewls of want, sighs as he sucked -- and oh, God, the filthy sounds of his lips wet and slick on Ren were enough all on their own to send Ren into levels of arousal he'd never known existed before. Tokiya had been made for this, he thought, shivering, as Tokiya's hand wrapped around his cock and began to move steadily at the base.

"Don't, don't hurt yourself," Ren gasped when he felt Tokiya trying to take him in deeper. "Careful of your throat--"

Tokiya flashed him another look then, a stubborn one that said, quite plainly, that he would do just exactly whatever he wanted. Ren moaned, dropped his head back, as Tokiya went at him in earnest. His toes dug into the rug, thighs trembling and tense. It was all too much--

His fingers curled into a fist in Tokiya's hair; Tokiya made a hot sound that rocketed straight into the most primal part of Ren's brain. Ren opened his mouth to tell Tokiya to pull back and it was too late, he was coming, cock jerking unexpectedly in Tokiya's mouth. Tokiya yanked back with a gasp, a ragged cry. Too late, oh, way too fucking late: spurts of come sprayed everywhere, over Tokiya's neck and chest and chin.

It was Ren's turn, now, to go hot with embarrassment. This was the last thing he'd ever wanted. "God, I'm so sorry, I'm so--" He pushed upright, reaching for Tokiya's face to wipe away what he could with his hands. "I tried to say something but it was too late, I'm sorry, Icchi, I didn't--"

"It's all right." Tokiya's voice had gone a little hoarse again, but he smiled when he looked up at Ren. He made a face then, as his tongue darted out instinctively to try and clean off a droplet or two that had stayed on his lips. "Ugh, bitter. No, you--" He inhaled, shook his head briefly. "It all happened so fast. Don't apologize."

Curious at that, Ren wiped his thumb over the corner of Tokiya's mouth to get a spot of semen there. Without breaking Tokiya's gaze, he brought it to his mouth. Tokiya wasn't wrong: it was bitter, an unfamiliar sensation on his tongue.

"Ren," Tokiya breathed out. His eyes were hungry now, almost all black with a rim of dark blue around the edges. Ren shuddered, licking at his thumb.

"I want you in me," he blurted out.

Tokiya visibly shuddered, surged upward. His mouth clashed hard against Ren's, so urgent and clumsy their teeth clacked together. Ren's hands curved around Tokiya's nape and he let himself fall back, tugging Tokiya with him.

So soon after that climax, he felt over-sensitive, every slide of Tokiya's skin on his almost painfully sweet. He let his knees fall open invitingly, knowing how slutty he had to look right now and not caring at all. 

" _Fuck_ ," Tokiya muttered. "Ren, are you sure about this?"

"Of course I am." Ren pushed up on an elbow, his throat working. Had he asked for too much? Tokiya's eyes were still dark, his skin still flushed from arousal; he wasn't backing away, but he wasn't getting closer, either. "I wouldn't ask if I didn't--"

Tokiya made a frustrated sound. "Don't be dense," he said, and before Ren's neck could go up, "Just breathe for a moment, would you? This is -- this is a lot. Physically. Do you have to dance tomorrow? Anything where you have to move? What's your schedule like?"

Ren's brain must have been dulled by lust or something; that was the only explanation he could think of, what with how shamefully long it was taking him to comprehend exactly what Tokiya was asking him. "N-no," he managed after a moment. "Interviews, and I have to work on lyrics for the new song. No dancing." Even if he had plans for tomorrow that involved physical exertion, he'd have figured out some way to cancel or reschedule; there was no way he intended to let this opportunity slip through his fingers.

"OK." Tokiya kissed him then, and then again, before pulling back with another concerned look on his face. "Uh. What about. What sorts of other--other things--"

His cheeks began to redden once more; Ren breathed out a chuckle, interpreting that particular blush correctly. "Let me get up," he said. "I went shopping."

"Shopping?" But Tokiya drew back, and Ren, swallowing hard, pushed himself up and got to his feet again. His legs were surprisingly shaky under him for a moment, but it was only a couple of steps to the dresser, and he bent from the waist to find the packet tucked away under the stack of trousers. 

Behind himself, he heard Tokiya draw in a sharp breath and couldn't help but smirk. "Enjoying the view?" he asked as he straightened again.

"Very much so," Tokiya replied. He'd gone hoarse; Ren rather liked the effect, even if it did make him worry that Tokiya might not have much of a voice tomorrow. (Aftercare, he'd read online, could take many forms. Tea with honey would be a good thing later, for both of them.)

"This part might be unpleasant," Ren said as he sat down on the bed, withdrawing the box of condoms and the tube of lubrication from the bag. He'd had to be extra careful when he purchased them, hair hidden under a hat and sunglasses on his face to make himself less recognizable; even so, he'd worried that the clerk would notice -- but she'd not even looked up as he paid, and he'd slipped breathlessly out of the store, safe. "I showered," he went on now, "so everything is... clean... but--"

Tokiya pushed to sit up, reaching over to take the tube from him and examine it with thoughtful eyes. "No," he said, "I want to do it," and Ren swallowed hard and twisted to kiss him again.

He shifted to spread out on his back, at least for this first part. From what he'd seen in images online, they could perform this act from nearly any position, but he'd probably be most comfortable on his belly to perform the actual deed. This position felt vulnerable and open: Ren had to fight the urge to keep his knees together. Tokiya, kneeling at the other end of the bed, set his gentle hands on Ren's knees, caressing the knobby joints and then sliding those careful hands between them. Ren felt his throat work as he allowed Tokiya to spread his legs.

 _How is it different this time_? he wondered to himself. _He's seen me naked already_. But of course it couldn't be more different; for all they'd done so far, neither had gone near this part of themselves (at least, to the extent of Ren's knowledge). Ren had tried touching himself when he'd showered, but it hadn't felt particularly good or anything.

Now, with Tokiya looking over him, eyes piercing and deep, Ren felt more naked than ever. "Please," he blurted.

Tokiya's eyes came up to meet Ren's. "Yes, of course, I'm sorry," he murmured, and pushed in closer, kneeling between Ren's spread thighs. Ren didn't know what to do with his hands; he rubbed them over his thighs, then hooked them on his shins, absently thinking maybe he could hold himself in place this way. His gaze fell on the tube in Tokiya's hands, those long deft fingers twisting the top off and removing the foil protection before replacing the lid. Air burped from the tube as he squeezed out some of the stuff into one hand; he laughed, startled, at the noise, and Ren found himself laughing too at the unexpectedness of it.

"What a rude noise," Tokiya said in his most severe tone. Ren shook with laughter. "Honestly, we're trying to be serious, here--" His fingers slid down over Ren's balls, then, confident as if he'd done this a dozen times. 

Ren's giggle collapsed into a gasp. "Cold--"

Tokiya's eyes went wide; he looked down and then drew his hand back, frowning. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize," he said, while Ren slipped a hand between his legs to cover his scrotum. The slickness where Tokiya had touched him warmed almost at once; he bit his lip, let his fingers slide lower. He must have made a noise, because he looked up to see Tokiya's eyes on his hand, glued to where his fingertips were brushing over the skin behind his scrotum, following the trail Tokiya had left.

The air seemed to leave Ren's lungs all at once. Tokiya's eyes had gone black, with only a thin rim of blue showing all round the edges. Daring, Ren let his finger slip lower, touching the place he'd cleaned so carefully during his shower. "Should I do this myself?" he asked, heard the rough low tones of his own voice, and swallowed hard.

"Kind of want to watch you do it," Tokiya breathed out, but then he knelt in again. This time, his fingertips were warm, the lube slick on them as he pressed them to the puckered muscle of Ren's opening. Ren opened his mouth to warn Tokiya, but he felt the pressure of only a single digit and relaxed -- marginally, at least -- as that finger slid into him.

Contrary to what Ren was expecting, it didn't hurt at all. Tokiya had slicked his finger to the knuckle, and it moved easy and smooth until it stopped, Tokiya's hand preventing any further motion. Ren let out the breath he'd sucked in at the first press, looked up and nodded.

"Good," he said, raw. "It's good. You can do another."

"Are you sure?" Tokiya still looked stunned. Ren reached down to touch Tokiya's wrist, slid fingers along the narrow length of Tokiya's forearm, and nodded. His throat working, Tokiya slid his finger back, added a little more lube, and then began the second push.

This time, he did have to take it slower. It didn't hurt -- not exactly, nothing more than a mild discomfort like a muscle ache -- the stretch was a bit _more_ , somehow, and he hissed out a cautionary: "Slow," before Tokiya could push too far. Tokiya sucked in a breath, but he complied, somehow, impossibly steady despite having two fingers in Ren's ass. 

Time began to fracture after that. Ren was aware of the steady movements of Tokiya's fingers, pushing in, sliding back, and not much else; he blinked sweat from his eyes and saw Tokiya settled between his spread thighs. His cock grew stiff again where it rested on his belly. He didn't know how much time had passed before Tokiya was sliding his fingers in smooth thrusts, as deep as he could go. Nor did he know what made it suddenly too much and not enough all at once: he grasped at Tokiya's free hand, keening with need.

"More," he muttered. Tokiya nodded, squirted more lube on his hand, began pressing with a third finger. This time it did hurt, but Ren shook his head when Tokiya's movement stopped, barely a centimeter into his body with his fingers grouped tight together. "Keep going," he breathed out, and, "slow," and he keened as Tokiya continued the push.

Ren felt as if he could feel every joint of every single one of Tokiya's fingers as they slowly worked past his rim, grinding against the tight ring of muscle and into his body. His thighs had gone tense again.

"Ren," he heard Tokiya say. Tokiya's voice was raw, shaking and low, and Ren looked up to see Tokiya's eyes gone black with need. His fingers were moving steadily into Ren now, easily pushing deep with every slide.

He swallowed and nodded. "I'm ready," he said.

Tokiya withdrew his fingers, slow but steady; they came free with a little squishy sound, not unlike the sounds that they'd been making as they worked into Ren's body. Another laugh, helpless, as Tokiya reached for a condom wrapper only to have the foil slip from his slick fingers: Ren grabbed it where it had fallen on the bed and tore it open. His fingers shook, too, but at least they weren't covered in lube, and a moment later he was handing the condom to Tokiya to slide it on.

Tokiya's throat worked. "This is so," he muttered, unrolling the latex over his stiff cock. "I can't believe this is happening."

"Yeah," Ren panted. "Yeah, I know what you mean, I--" He felt wide and empty, a yawning void between his legs that needed nothing more than to be filled. Even as Tokiya finished with the condom, he reached for him again, trying to pull Tokiya down to him. "Please--"

Tokiya came down to him easily, knees between Ren's thighs, one hand on himself in an instinctive gesture. Even as Ren lifted up his legs to wrap them around Tokiya's waist, he felt Tokiya fitting himself _there_ , the hot blunt head pressing to his relaxed opening, and then, ah, fuck, at last, at last, Tokiya beginning that push into him.

He'd honestly had no idea what to expect, but Ren wasn't sure anything could have prepared him for this. Tokiya was over him, hands braced on either side of his shoulders, and as he panted and shuddered and pushed so slowly, so slowly, Ren closed his eyes to take in the sensation of being filled -- breached -- by Tokiya's erection.

There weren't even words for it. All he could do was attempt to breathe, to suck in air and let it out again, as Tokiya continued to press into him steadily, gradually, centimeter by centimeter. The pressure and fullness was good, at first, fulfilling every desperate need racing through Ren's body. His legs instinctively wrapped around Tokiya's waist, urging him deeper.

"All -- all right," Tokiya gasped. It didn't sound like a question, but Ren nodded anyway.

"Yeah," he muttered. "Don't stop, please--"

"I don't want to hurt you--"

Ren's legs clutched tight, squeezed. Tokiya let out a sudden breathless moan as he pushed sudden and hard into Ren in response. "You're not," he hissed.

In truth, there was pain, but not much: what was there was dull and aching and swiftly passing with every nudge of Tokiya's cock inside him. Ren found himself panting in time with Tokiya's pushes, his heart racing; he'd begun sweating at some point, both from the intensity of feeling Tokiya in him and Tokiya's lean body pressed to his. One arm came up around Tokiya's shoulders without any conscious bidding; the other hand reached out, grasping at the edge of the mattress to anchor himself.

"Y-you feel," Tokiya panted, " _fuck_ , you feel so _good_..." His face was buried in Ren's shoulder now, a low groan escaping from him. Ren couldn't help a smile, flattered in spite of himself. 

"So do you," he muttered. "So do you." He could feel Tokiya's hips pressed hard to him now; reaching down to explore, his fingers met Tokiya's tense thigh. "Are you in all the way?"

"Yeah. Yeah." Tokiya swallowed hard, lifted up enough to look down at Ren. His eyes were black, with just the barest ring of blue around the rim; sweat beaded on his forehead, plastering dark locks of hair to his skin. 

Ren tightened his thighs briefly around Tokiya's hips. "Then let me feel you," he said, low, raw and raspy. "I want to feel it, Icchi. Come on. Fuck me."

Tokiya's throat worked; Ren watched his adam's apple bobbing. "I don't know if I can," Tokiya said after a moment, and Ren very nearly laughed aloud, remembering a conversation by the lake so long ago.

"You can," he whispered, lifting up to breathe the words into Tokiya's ear. "I know you can. I've seen you dance like you're seducing the audience. That's what I want to feel."

He could feel every little thrill that danced along Tokiya's skin, every breath that filled Tokiya's lungs. As if he were gathering courage, Tokiya inhaled, then drew his hips back and -- a trifle stiffly, at first -- drove himself back into Ren's body.

They both cried out at the same time. Ren's head fell back to the pillow, his shoulders arching off the bed. When he blinked up at Tokiya, he saw the same astonished pleasure on Tokiya's face that he himself felt coursing through his body. "Yeah," he panted, "like that, just like that," and Tokiya grinned as he pulled back and, more easily this time, drove into him again.

Tokiya's hips still stuttered now and then, and at one point he pulled back and slipped completely out of Ren -- but all Ren could do was laugh, and Tokiya let go of a helpless chuckle, too, as he fitted himself and slid into Ren's body once more. This time, the slide was so easy and hot that Tokiya sank to the hilt in an instant. Ren let out a sharp groan at the shocking heat of it, of Tokiya's cock buried in him.

Bit by bit, the world fell away from him once again. Ren knew Tokiya, moving steadily in him, finding a way to brace himself over Ren so that his entire weight wasn't carried on Ren's body. He felt the heat of Tokiya's skin, damp with sweat; every touch, every rough kiss and low laugh, registered to his ears and his mouth and his senses. He felt the sheet slippery below them, the solid support of the mattress keeping them up. Beyond that, nothing existed in his world anymore. Only Tokiya, in him and over him and a part of him, so deep that Ren didn't think he'd ever lose this sensation.

Not that he wanted to, anyway. He wanted to live in this moment, with Tokiya's dark eyes burning into his, with Tokiya's sweat dripping on his own forehead. Even as that thought flitted through his head, though, Tokiya did something new with his hips and a flash of sheer unadulterated pleasure bolted straight through Ren's body, head to toe. He cried out, hips jerking upward, white flashing behind his eyes.

"Fuck!" he keened. His cock jerked between them, dripping wet with pre-come and the sweat gathering on their skin. "Fuck, yes, do that again, you're killing me--"

Ren could feel Tokiya shaking as if fighting for control; he had a dim feeling neither of them would last much longer, but he didn't even care anymore. Was it about endurance or feeling good? Probably a miracle they'd gone as long as they did anyway, what with this being their first time at all.

Tokiya's hips snapped again. Ren cried out, moved one hand from where it had been clinging, white-knuckled, to the edge of the mattress, and took himself in hand. He could already feel it building up in him: three more strokes, maybe five at the most -- Tokiya's dick burying so deep inside him with every perfect thrust -- and Ren was coming.

His head felt as if it had simply come apart, as if the whole room was spinning around them. For a brief moment, he wasn't even sure of his own name. Above him, he felt Tokiya shattering into pieces, heard his broken rough moan as he, too, reached his peak. Ren managed to open his eyes so that he could witness the look of stunned pleasure transforming Tokiya's face.

In the next instant, Tokiya sank down on him, still buried in him. Ren wrapped his free arm around him, not willing to let go of Tokiya just yet. Tokiya's chest heaved, as did his own, sucking in lungfuls of air like both of them had just nearly drowned. It almost felt like that, as if Ren had been pulled under by the impossible pleasure and ecstasy of orgasm with Tokiya.

Tokiya began to pull back. Reluctantly, Ren let go. Fortunately, Tokiya only moved back far enough to slip out of Ren's body, his cock already beginning to soften; he didn't go any further than that, settling on his side next to Ren.

For his part, Ren could do little more than continue to remind himself to breathe. He caught at Tokiya's hand, pulled it across his chest. He felt a little empty now, his legs sprawled wide on the mattress, and he was sure he'd soon feel the effects of having another man's cock in his ass.

He didn't care right now. Euphoria filled every cell of his body, and he laughed as he lifted his head enough to be able to kiss Tokiya.

"We are so doing that again," he murmured. 

Tokiya, somehow red-faced despite everything that had just happened, nodded.

"Next time, it's my turn," he said, his voice still rough and raw, and it was Ren's turn to swallow and nod.


End file.
